Greetings from Abroad

Zac Deibel

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Just got back from study abroad? Struggling to express your transcendental experience with words? Need a great closer for your travel blog? Consider AWOL’s handy, travel-sized abroad experience template to deflect the onslaught of nosy inquiries from friends and family. Just follow the steps below and let AWOL provide the informative, detailed, and sometimes condescending description for you!

First, pick the location that best describes where you went (if it’s someplace too obscure, don’t worry—it’ll fit somewhere):

European city Middle Eastern country China/India Failing state Africa

Next, just circle whichever option in the narrative fits your unique experience the best:

“Hey! So I just got back from being abroad! My trip was so [rewarding amazing life-changing] and gave me so many important [perspectives life-lessons new experiences]. It’s tough to describe because it’ll be hard for you to [understand relate to sit through the story of] the fantastic trip I had. Life was so different there. 

In the United States, our lives are stressed and hectic, but there they focused on the important things like [culture overthrowing governments staying alive]. I wasn’t anxious about my schoolwork like I am at home because there, learning isn’t about grades or papers. It’s about  the experience. I studied so many new subjects like [art Marxism Molotov cocktail hurling].

I spent my nights roaming the [cities dorm halls pastures] instead of the AU Library. My fellow Eagles and I reflected on our encounters with culture over local favorites served from [Pierre Ahmed Comrade Igor], the friendly server at the [pub hookah bar Starbucks café] nearby. There we could even drink alcohol, because to them, our maturity isn’t reflected by the age on our [license passport fake ID]. We took so many amazing [weekend excursions safaris pub crawls] throughout the area, something we aren’t able to do in the United States because Americans don’t care about [public transportation culture young people]. Here, all we needed to do was hop on a [train bus Sherpa], and we could be encountering a totally different culture and meeting new people. Try experiencing that in the United States!

I spent most of my free time doing my best to immerse myself in the culture. I often admired the [magnificent cathedrals exotic mosques quaint grass huts] from [the top decks of tour busses the backs of alpacas my computer’s GoogleEarth application]. It was difficult to adapt to many different things, especially [the language barrier the scarcity of snacks mosquito nets]. I always got the feeling that people there were so much happier with their [democratically elected government socialist regime tyrant] than we are because they love parades! Sometimes people get so excited that the [street cleaners police national army] have to [clean up big messes push the crowd back shoot off fireworks]

I spent a lot of time shopping for [authentic hand-made mass-produced]souvenirs of national significance like [scarves tapestries key chains]

Everyone there was so interesting, and it’s amazing how they [speak English all the time get by without English arrest me every time I speak English]. I know the opinion is that people there are really [elitist lazy impoverished], but I know now that they are really [intellectual cheery oppressed]. Even though I lived in [a dorm with other Americans an apartment complex for students a hostel], whenever we ventured outside, we were always really [outgoing engaging obnoxious] and willing to meet new people. I feel like I’ll never be the same until I walk those [cobblestone streets venues of the local bazaar cowpaths] again, where the people just seem to understand me better and the culture is so much [richer poorer]. My experience was so [original extraordinary personal] and life-changing, that if you go, I’m sure you’ll have the same great experience.”